I Need You
by Myfaerytale
Summary: Summary: After working with a baby at the hospital all day, Arizona finds herself reminded of something she lost only months before. Will she finally be able to open up to Callie? (requested by anon)


Summary: After working with a baby at the hospital all day, Arizona finds herself reminded of something she lost only months before. Will she finally be able to open up to Callie?

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes.

Arizona was lying flat on her back, hands folding over her chest as her thoughts began to race. Her eyes were burning, tears threatening to break through every time she thought about her day.

It was just like any day; she worked with sick children, worried parents. Except, it _wasn't _like any other day. No other day had hit her as hard as this one had, at least emotion wise. She got hit with a gurney, her prosthetic leg had been damaged; she even had to deal with the never ending drama from Leah Murphy.

But none of that seemed to compare to the emptiness she felt in her womb, the constant ache. Her fingers slid down to her stomach, lifting her shirt to reveal smooth skin. Dancing fingertips trailed over her belly button, goose bumps arising as the cold air hit her sensitive skin. Deep breaths beside her let her know that her wife was asleep, unaware of the inner turmoil that Arizona was eliciting.

She sat up slowly, swinging her body so that her one leg hung over the bed's side. She strapped her back-up leg onto her short limb as quietly as possible so as to not awake the beautiful sleeping Latina beside her. She took a deep breath, trembling hands gripping onto the wall as she made her way to the bathroom.

As she slipped into the room, leaving the door open to let in the cool spring air, Arizona grasped the sink. Short, wavy locks fell into her face, blue eyes evading her reflection as she turned the nearest handle to release ice cold water.

Her breaths were now ragged, stomach clenching as she thought of that child she treated earlier that day.

That baby had been abandoned, no one to look after him. He was alone. She didn't understand how a parent could toss their child to the side so easily when there were people dying to have children.

She knew she shouldn't get so attached to that child, but...

Her stomach protested once more, knots building and an ache making its way to her pale forehead. She ran a hand under the faucet, water dripping onto her fingers as she brought the wet liquid to her forehead. She bit her lip, blue eyes finally rising to see her disheveled reflection.

She was also met with brown eyes, the tired orbs getting closer and closer until she felt arms wrap around her middle.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Arizona sighed, turning the faucet off and facing her wife. She could see the concern, the love that they held as they took her in. She raised a hand to play with the ends of Callie's hair, her eyes focusing on the strands so that she wouldn't feel pressured to speak.

She simply shrugged, golden locks brushing against her shoulders. Arizona continued to play with Callie's hair until her stomach twisted once more. She hissed, eyes watering as she held back the sob that was trying to escape her throat.

"Arizona, please, talk to me." Callie's voice was laced with worry, her hands gently gripping Arizona's sides.

"I-I-" her words were choked, head falling into her hands as she finally let herself cry. Her body shook, Callie instantly pulling her against her chest as she let the blonde release built up emotions. "How could someone just leave their child in a box?" she sobbed. "H-How could they just abandon their child?" she removed her hands, eyes locking onto Callie's in search for an answer.

Callie could feel her heart breaking at the pure agony and sadness that filled Arizona's eyes. The blue orbs that were just mere hours ago filled with joy and safety...they were hard and not the striking blue she fell in love with. These eyes only contained pain, and it made her chest ache, heart clench.

"It's not about that baby," Callie stated as she glanced down at Arizona's midsection. It was wrinkled, one of Arizona's hands tightly balling up the piece of fabric to reveal a flat, toned stomach. This wasn't the first time she had caught the blonde fidgeting with her shirts like this, nor the first time she had played with her belly as if she were waiting, no, _wanting _to feel something.

"It is." Arizona was trying to convince more herself. She couldn't keep dwindling on something she never had, something she never truly lost.

"No. It's not." Callie tugged at Arizona's elbow, bringing her to their bed and sitting her down. She knelt in between her legs, taking her hands and with the softest of kisses touched each knuckle. "We need to talk about this."

"This isn't about-"

Callie lifted Arizona's shirt, warm caramel toned hands laying flat against the blonde's stomach. "I don't know how it feels." Callie started. She pressed her hand against Arizona's stomach, the other laying atop her thigh. "But I feel like when..." her own tears were beginning to fall from her eyes, voice thick. "When you lost the baby I felt like I lost a part of you, too."

"Calliope..." her name broke from Arizona's lips in a whisper.

"Do you want to try again?" Callie looked up, removing her hand so she could cradle Arizona's face. They were mere inches apart, their labored breaths washing over each other's faces. "I can't stand seeing you like this. If trying again will make you happy-"

"I can't go through that again, Callie. I just can't." Arizona shut her eyes. "I can't..." she felt weak, drained. She just wished all the pain would go away. "I don't know why I feel like this. I didn't lose any-"

"Don't tell me you didn't lose anything. You've lost something I couldn't even imagine..." Callie pressed her lips to Arizona's, her sweet scent passing her nose as she took in her lover's essence.

Arizona returned the short kiss, wrapping her arms around Callie's neck, the two now touching foreheads. "I feel so weak."

"But you're strong." Callie murmured. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I did. I deserve this, I deserve everything I'm feeling. I betrayed you, I don't deserve you." Arizona laid her lips onto Callie's once more, craving her touch out of fear.

"What happened to you...what you did..." Callie was at a loss for words, emotions swirling in her stomach. "You know I love you, that I forgive you. But, I can't see you suffer like this everyday."

Callie moved back a little, moving her hands back to Arizona's exposed stomach. "I think if we try again-"

"No!" Arizona pushed Callie's hands away, her anger making the action more dramatic than she wanted. "I can't Callie, I can't..." she let herself fall into Callie's arms.

Arizona was afraid that if they tried again, that she would lose the baby: that she would lose Callie. She had already failed her lover in so many ways, and failing at something as simple as having a child was heartbreaking.

"I can't lose you," Arizona said. "If I lose anything baby-"

"We'll deal with it. We'll talk. But you can't shut me out." she let Arizona nuzzle her head into her chest, salt water tears matting her chest. "I won't leave you Arizona." Callie brought Arizona's face back to her's, their lips locking and moving with such each, in sync.

"Promise me." Arizona breathed in between kisses. "If," she pecked Callie on the lips once more before looking into deep, chocolate eyes seriously. "If we try again and it doesn't work..." her eyes clenched shut, stomach churning at the thought.

"I promise I won't leave you. And we'll keep trying."

They stared into each other's eyes one final time before embracing, neither of them planning to ever let go.


End file.
